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Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind?
In last week's packet of school forms was an invitation for Henry to join the Cub Scouts. It has everything he would love to do: camping, knife skills, hiking, earning badges, first aid, ceremony, procedure and so on, but they also have their Morally Straight clause.
Boy Scouts regards homosexual conduct as not morally straight as required in the Scout Oath. Boy Scouts of America
I can't let my boys be part of an organization which discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation, and you woud think that in California, where apparently it is "the land of fruits and nuts," there wouldn't be a lot of support for scouting. Boy howdy, you'd be wrong.
I've got 3 sons. Statistically there's a decent chance that one is gay. What then? What if one of my boys is gay. And in Boy Scouts. How would I explain to him that I allowed him to join an organization which will kick him out the instant he decided to tell anyone he was gay? What would I say to his brothers?
What if all three of my boys are straight but they have a gay friend? That friend wouldn't be able to join them in Scouting. And why not? Because Boy Scouts of America is a close-minded organization. And I knew that and let my kids join anyway.
What if my three boys were gay or straight, but our family had friends who were gay? Hey wait — that's our actual, not theoretical situation. How do I explain to my children that I let them join an organization which says that our friends are morally wrong?
Fortunately, this won't come up because I'm not going to let my boys join the Boy Scouts. But I have a question for those of you in Scouting: how would you answer these questions?
I couldn't let my kids join anything like that either. I totally agree with you.
Wow. I didn't realize this. Do the girl scouts have the same philosophy? We are new to the states (from Canada) and I had thought girl scouting might be a good activity for my 5 year old. However, I won't be enrolling her if this is part of their ideology.
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I used to work for the BSA. They were an equal opportunity employer (obviously, cuz, I'm a girl) but yes, they are a Christian-based organization that keeps basic conservative Christian-based principles. They do often confuse the term homosexual with pedophile. On the local level, our small troop is open-minded. They are welcoming to all. The object is for the kids to have fun and learn how to be a part of something, a community. I too, had the heebeejeebees about letting my son join a group that is, let's face it, is basically out there to raise good little fascists. But because of how his cub troop is run, I'm OK with it for now. I doubt I will encourage him to keep up with it as he gets older. By the way, we were not given any such "moral code" to abide by. Folks who are interested in the benefits of scouting should look for a troop based out of a liberal church (perhaps Unitarian) or school where they can't (shouldn't) discriminate.
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Hi Shannon, welcome to crazy Puritan America. At first glance it looks like the Girl Scouts don't have a similar policy. I'll defer to other commenters who may know more about it, though.
Oh, and check out Camp Fire — they used to be Camp Fire Girls, but now they're open to boys too. I don't know their policies, but they're another big group very similar to scouts.
Good for you for showing your son how to put personal ethics into action even though it is sometimes difficult to do. As a former cub scout leader (my son is now grown) I can tell you that there is nothing going on in that organization that can't be duplicated somewhere else. But the lesson that you just taught him….priceless!
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I agree - check out Camp Fire instead. http://www.campfire.org/start.asp
"We are inclusive, open to every person in the communities we serve, welcoming children, youth and adults regardless of race, religion, socioeconomic status, disability, sexual orientation or other aspect of diversity."
We love it.
We're joining Camp Fire. They have a new program where homeschooling families can pool together and start what's called a Family Community Group. I believe regular schoolers, churches and others can take this route as well.
And yes, we eschewed Boy Scouts for the exact same reasons.
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Thanks for a well-timed post. My boys are starting a new school later this week and several people have mentioned the school's Scout Troop as a great way to jump into the social mix. The troop is school-based and kids of several different religions are involved (so there's clearly no conservative Christian agenda there), but ultimately in order to join you have to agree to the party line, even if your local group just accepts it with a wink-wink, right? Hmmm.
Ugh, just one more year til my oldest is eligible for the Science Olympiad Team. Nothing controversial about that, is there?
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Kim,
I didn't want to muddy the water on this issue so I didn't mention it in my post, but they also don't allow leaders or scouts who do not believe in god.
FYI,
E
Good for you. At my school I refuse to donate to the United Way, just because some of their money goes to Boy Scouts.
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My husband and I are going to have such a brawl over this. I completely agree with you. But I know my husband is going to desperately want my guys to be scouts. It's going to be ugly. I think I have at least one more year before it comes up though. I'll let Future Stimey deal with that one.
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We're in CA (Walnut Creek) and I felt the same way and did not sign TheBoy up for Boy Scouts. He has found many other ways to volunteer in the community.
PS the "Alexander's Heart" blog link in your sidebar isn't working at the moment.
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Two of the five most important men in my life are gay. I could never knowingly participate in an organization that actively discriminates. It's the same reason why I don't ever participate in BSA fundraisers. Good thing its the Girl Scouts selling the cookies, or we'd be a sad family. ;)
Thanks for talking about this. Hopefully the BSA will get their act together, remember the Oath that talks about integrity and change their policy. Until then, we won't be participating.
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I wholeheartedly agree with you. My boys will not be joining Cub Scouts either for the exact same reasons.
I don't think we are alone in this.
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That is so strange. It's sad. The Scouts are supposed to teach kids teamwork and self confidence!
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I hear you on that. I hate when organizations….especially ones like the boy scouts, operate wth such descrimination.
Love your blog
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I have pre-struggled with this idea. Seeing as Declan is near 6 and I am waiting for the boy scout issue to come up.
See, here's the thing. Boy Scouts are a bit different here in Colorado - in that it's more of a "franchise" where the troop is run more by the troop leaders and the big thing is it's all about learning to camp and wilderness survival, which is really important here in Colorado. We have several friends who, like you and I, have strong feelings about the boy Scouts and their discrimination of gays, but have let their sons join because of the wilderness experiences and training they get.
Luckily it hasn't come up yet, but I honestly am not sure what we will do if/when it does.
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Wow. I was actually considering letting my oldest join the Boy Scouts. Not now. I had no idea.
Thanks Erika!
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I have four boys, all Eagle Scouts. The difficulty you speak of has never arisen. They also read the Bible which gives clear guidance on homosexuality.
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This is precisely why my son won't be joining. How can I tell him that he is in an organization that his uncle, his namesake, cannot be part of? I can't.
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The anti-gay policy is obviously morally reprehensible, but you know what else I don't like?
The relentless popcorn pushing (or for the girls, the relentless cookie pushing). I know I did it when I was a kid, but now that I am a parent, I sort of resent the endless shakedowns.
As far as I'm concerned, you've dodged a bullet.
[...] Erika Jurney (damn - I remember when all we knew to call her was "Plain Jane Mom") rails against the homophobic Boy Scouts. [...]
There are also the Spiral Scouts, inclusive and with a very environmental aspect.
I refuse to let my sons join boy scouts. Not that they are old enough yet, but unless there is a huge change on that policy between now and then I'm going to stand firm. My inlaws are very pro-boy scouts and think I'm making mountains out of molehills but I think you have to make lines at where you stand and stick to them.
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[...] Erika Jurney reminds us that the "Boy Scouts regards homosexual conduct as not morally straight as required in the Scout Oath. " - is that really being Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind? [...]
I agree with you. I can't believe the Scouts would still have that clause. I won't let my son–when he's older–join either
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I am a Scoutmaster and I disagree with the BSA policy on gays and God. I can't disregard the policy in our troop, but I can lead by example. I can't register a gay adult as a leader in the troop, but they are welcome at meetings and campouts. I can live and teach tolerance and explain to Scouts that I have some deep disagreements with the national office. Usually, we have a really good chat about their own moral positions and ethical choices. Boys don't talk about that often.
Conveniently, the World Organization of the Scouting Movement has policies on both gays and God(s) that I agree with, so I can align myself with them as needed.
It is the opposite with the Episcopal Church, I agree with our national church and disagree with the world organization. Sigh.
There are more positives than negatives in Boy Scouts. The biggest positive is that the boys run the program as much as possible. This is huge, and something that they cannot get from a soccer team or theater or almost any other youth activity.
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My life in California with my husband Craig and our sons Henry (6.5), Ed (6), and Charlie (3.75).
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