How cool — I hope she gets picked to be dead too. I've never known a professional corpse before!

Maybe next time she'll tell us how she really feels :)

Every mom's nightmare — has a good ending.

Made me laugh out loud, and for real, not that stupid acronym.

Go lipgloss, go lipgloss, it's your birthday, go lipgloss… (Am I too old to pull that off? Shut.Up.)

Check out the latest member of the eMom family. Cute!

Many of you know that my 3-year-old Chip was born with a cataract in his right eye, and we had the cataract removed about a year ago. Apparently, most people have a complication where their vision clouds over at some point after the surgery, and there is a simple laser procedure they can do to clear it up.

Chip sees his eye doc every couple of months, and last August he noticed some clouding in Chip's eye and said it was time for the laser zap. Quick, easy, and then he'd be all set.

Nope

We have now been waiting for FIVE MONTHS for the rocket scientists in charge of doling out time on the laser to schedule this surgery. In this time, Chip hasn't been able to see much out of that eye and I've been worried about that causing problems for him later on. You know, because of brain development at this age, it is important for his eyes to be working if that can be managed.

I got a call from the scheduling nurse saying they finally had gotten a spot on the schedule for Chip. And it was going to be this Monday. No, they can't tell me the time until the Friday before. No, I can't bring my other kids along. No, it can't happen in the morning when my other kids are in school.

No, it doesn't matter that my husband will be out of town that day. No, they can't reschedule it!

I shit you not, the person on the phone actually told me to just have my nanny watch my other kids. Like everyone has a nanny. I really didn't know what to say, other than "Um, we don't have a nanny."

And she was surprised!

Craig goes out of town on business fewer than 10 days a year, and this Monday just happens to be one of those days. I am so furious that there is no way for me to get another appointment.

Fortunately, my mom can hang out with Mike and Robbie while I'm with Chip, but she had her shoulder replaced a few months ago and has physical therapy that afternoon. Which cannot be rescheduled. Because they don't reschedule, you just have to miss a session. Because apparently this is another area of medicine where we work for them, not the other way around.

We're lucky

If we didn't live near my family we would be so screwed, because while my mom is at physical therapy, my step-mom is going to leave work to watch Mike & Robbie. But what about people who don't have this kind of support? I'm starting to understand why people are tempted to leave their kids home alone. I don't agree with it, and I would never do it, but I can totally see how someone could feel like their back is against the wall.

I swear to god I am going to have a stroke thinking about this. I haven't even gotten around to being nervous about the fact that they're going to be putting him completely out to do the laser zap. I remember what coming out of anesthesia was like when he had his surgery last year. Hell! And since these fucking people are so inflexible I won't even be able to have Craig there to help me when Chip is thrashing around screaming.

I am so mad. I am livid. I am so grateful to my family for helping me make this work, but I SO RESENT the fact that there is NO FLEXIBILITY in this system. Who are these fuckers, anyway?

OMG, my heart just exploded from the cuteness.

A lesson best learned early on in the relationship.

No way, The Rap Sheet rocks!!

Wow, I'm impressed. I've always thought that sugar-free was for food, not people.

Shannon, I'm just glad you're talking to us again. It is good to hear your voice.

Blurgh, what a drag.

Another way that kids can make you cry. What a sweetheart.

Courage!

Ack, I almost Big Birded reading this.

To quote Homer Simpson, I'd have to say a little from column A, and a little from column B.

The last sentence is the kicker, and oh so true.

YAY CANAPE and welcome baby Christopher!

Go Laylee! You get 'em, girl :)

Argh, this is my current project too. Sigh.

Whoo hoo — Congratulations!!

Oh man, sounds like my house.

There's no way I could answer any of these either.

A great cause.

I love this shower gel. The name makes me laugh, it is smooth and gentle and the surprisingly delicious aroma really wakes me up in the morning.

Of course, the combination of coffee, chocolate, lime and hemp isn't for everyone. It might leave you remembering college weekends. Which might not be the way you like to wake up in the morning. Or maybe it is. I'm not one to judge. (much)

Oh good lord, I just laughed so hard I think I did too.

Snort.

Thank you Edith, for sharing something with me that made me completely unable to stop laughing: a crocheted beanis. (NSFW unless you work in an office like mine, in which case I'll wait while you forward that URL around to your workgroup.)

But better than just the delight of it at first glance, keep reading the pattern. From the Suggested Listening to the Variations at the end, I thought I was going to lose consciousness I was laughing so hard.

Of course, maybe it's just me.

Thanks to some "brilliant" work by some folks who will not be named, if you tried to email me over the past few days I probably didn't get your message. It was also really awesome that this site was down for almost 36 hours. Let's see, anything else? Oh yeah, some paying customers of mine had their stuff broken as well. So all in all, this week was really really "fun." I think I'm going to start over next week.

On a lighter note, I found a fun meme. Amazing! Try it :) I did this and got this:

Photo credit: "Defect Defect" by rita.

I wasn't tagged for this, so I'm not going to tag anyone else. And that's only fair since I'm for reals Where Memes Go To Die.