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What it took to get us to where we are now. It exhausts me just reading about it.
| 1997-1998 | |
|---|---|
| trying without doctors |
negative |
| 1999 | |
| clomid IUI #1 | negative |
| clomid IUI #2 | negative |
| clomid IUI #3 | negative |
| clomid IUI #4 | negative |
| gonal-f IUI #1 | negative |
| gonal-f IUI #2 | negative |
| IVF #1 | negative |
| 2000 | |
| IVF #2 | negative |
| FET #1 | negative |
| FET #2 | negative |
| IVF #3 | early miscarriage |
| 2001 | |
| IVF #4 | early miscarriage |
| FET #3 | early miscarriage |
| IVF #5 | early miscarriage |
| 2002 | |
| clomid IUI #5 (donor sperm) |
Robbie! |
| Adoption | Mike! |
| 2004 | |
| clomid IUI #6 (donor sperm) |
Chip! |
| What the heck are all these acronyms?? | |
| Clomid is a drug in pill form to increase the number of eggs ovulated. Gonal-f is an injectable drug that does the same thing but to a higher degree. IUI is "intrauterine insemination" IVF is "in vitro fertilisation" FET is "frozen embryo transfer" |
|
Allow me to dazzle you with my large and impressive Table of In/Fertility.
Have you ever wondered to yourself how I ended up with 2 kids who are 8 months apart? Well, after several years of spending large amounts of money solely for the privilege of shooting myself in the ass with long needles, we decided to get going with all the paperwork needed for adoption.
That took us several months and the only thing to do at the end of it all was to just sit around and wait. I don't do that very well, so we decided to go back to the doctor for "one more try."
What made it different this time was that we decided to try using donor sperm. The doctors had never suggested it (morons), but it seemed to us to be a very logical and inexpensive thing to try, so we gave it a shot.
See the table over there? It worked the first time, and we were amazed and very cautiously pleased.
Then. The day after we found out I was pregnant we got a call from an adoption agency saying that a baby boy had just been born and did we want to come get him?
So here's what we figured
I had already had 4 miscarriages, and we had also already excitedly traveled out to meet a newborn who we didn't end up getting to adopt. The odds seemed stacked against us, but if we were really, really lucky we might hit the jackpot and end up with two babies.
We ended up in the airport on the way to get Mike AND calling the clinic for my latest beta (pregnancy blood test) results. It was an overwhelming, stressful, and unreal experience, but as you can see it worked out really well for us.
Two years later we decided that we'd love to have a third child and debated adoption vs. donor sperm. In the end, donor sperm won out because it was cheaper, required no travel or paperwork, and had the possibility of happening sooner.
Amazingly, it worked on the first try again. So much for the fleet of reproductive endocrinologists (fertility "experts") who had no idea what was causing our infertility. We just diagnosed it ourselves — go figure.
(Oh, and do you like how this post just kind of stops without an actual ending? Yeah, sweet isn't it? I have a really hard time writing decently on this subject, and any time I try it just kind of comes out like a list. So cut me a little slack on this one please :)
I take it IVF/ICSI was still a crazy witch-doctor procedure? It's so frustrating that even today doctors have a hard time making the leap that infertility can be all male factor. ALL.
I have to ask: why is this topic harder for you? Is it because it's about you specifically, or because it's about infertility? Let's see if we can expand on this a bit.
I'm sorry it's so hard to discuss. I understand. As someone who was trying for over a year before we got lucky, I've been hanging out on a forum with others in the same situation. It's hard, physically and emotionally. I'm so happy that you finally got the family you wanted!
Wow. It's amazing that you endured all that, that you can list it in a way that those of us unfamiliar with the infertility merry-go-round can understand (though I use "merry" only as part of a figure of speech) and that you have a happy ending.
I'd have a hard time writing about it, too. It's helpful to read, though, as I have several friends going through these procedures.
I figured you were going to announce you had another on the way.
Can't believe you had to go through all of that!!!
Thanks for sharing this. Between the days-to-40 counter the dates you have listed, my current fertility plans seem more and more suspect.
Then I remember that when it all works out and when people women don't have to inject themselves or get donor sperm, they don't write about it. But the odds of all sorts of things after 30…sheesh. I will have to start telling George to stay out of hot tubs.
Thanks for sharing this!
I love reading stories of infertile couples that end up with a house full of kids. You've been through a lot. I'm glad in the end it all worked out.
Wow. That is a lot of commitment and tenacity. I am amazed and impressed.
We went to the doctors who put us in the "unexplained infertility" category, this was after about a million tests. I went through pills and then shots, it was all very hard and everyone kept saying "relax, try not to stress yourself out." Yeah right! Long story short, it finally worked and I had My Little Peach, and a few months later, I found out I was pregnant again with The Little Man! Infertility is a long hard road, I'm glad you found a happy ending to it!
I am amazed by every parent who goes through so much just for a chance to love a little baby. Many blessings….
Hey… we're in the process of adopting (2nd time) and it's just so. much. fun. waiting…
I appreciate your info & honesty & it's ok to end the post without an ending.
I thought for sure there was an announcement at the end of this…
I can't even imagine how hard it is to share such personal and heart wrenching information, and with a bunch of *strangers* no less.
Consider the slack cut.
I understand your pain. It took us 5 years to conceive W. via Fertinex. Then 4/12 years for T. via Invitro. 6 weeks after I had T. I was pregnant with R., go figure. She was born a little early so the younger ones are only 10 months apart. Infertility is a difficult and hard to understand unless you've been there. You have no reason to explain.
I took Clomid to conceive our first 2 (boyz). #3 (boy) was born 12-1/2 months after #2. No fertility drugs. Our bodies are so mysterious.
That is an extensive history of infertility! I had three years of trouble with infertility before I got pregnant with my son.
I haven't heard much about donor sperm and I'm just wondering (and you can tell me I asked a stupid or too personal of a question - sorry if I'm being too curious) if you used the same donor sperm for your two sons?
I'm so happy you have three healthy boys! You are blessed!
That's quite the journey, and I'm glad that it is leading down a wonderful path. All families are complicated, right? What matters is that you got them.
I am glad you were able to find a path that worked. I am glad you were able to get it out there and share, I liked the end just fine.
I'm with Mamma and Sam, I thought you were making an announcement!
I love your story. Thank you for sharing!
I'm exhausted just reading about it!
I'm glad everything worked out, in what is the est possible way (IMHO).
Holy reproductive hoops to jump through batman!
I can tell by reviewing your list that you're one kickass mofo… Glad your powers are used for good and not evil.
My brother and his wife had 8 years of adoption and IVF and on and on… It was painful watching someone I love go through it.. so I can only imagine what it's like to experience it.
I'm in awe of you. We went through six rounds of Clomid/IUI (and are still married! that clomid is nasty) Two rounds of IVF and got our first born. Tweleve months later we got Cooper au natu-ral…go figure. After two full years on fertility drugs God hit us with a healthy boy by just having sex. we.were.shocked.
I'm in awe of the five rounds of IVF. You are a brave and strong woman to go through all those drugs and pills and emotions.
I went through ZIFT (a controversial form of IVF) to conceive our first, and our second was conceived when our first was three months old due to a cheap bottle of wine and a long commercial break!
Love happy endings. Good for you guys!
[...] It is these open, brave people who help me walk truly in my own shoes.. who give me the courage to chase after the biggest dreams, the biggest love, and not just settle into my spiritual easy chair and snooze. [...]
It seems that the end of this post is a "to be continued…"
wow….
and here we seem to just THINK about it and BLAM..we would have like 16 kids if we made any effort.
My hats of to you…
Oh but it does have an ending! Three healthy, interesting, beautiful boys lucky to have Mrs Plain and Mr Plain as Mommy and Daddy! (FYI to the readers: I'm "Mrs Plain's" sister-in-law.)
Having been down a similar road, I understand the need to reflect on it now and then. Infertility treatments are frequently heartbreaking, and constantly emotionally and physically demanding. Still, as the saying goes, "Alls well that ends well!"
Hmmm. Why IS it that the doctors don't recommend donor sperm they way they do with donoro eggs? No one EVER mentioned it (of course, we didn't think of it either). But, I know that adopting PundirGirl was the right thing for us — there's no doubt in my mind (even on the 'she drives me crazy days!) that she was the daughter I was meant to have.
Oh I just jumped over to you article about the books, very cool. My sister used donor sperm but even her husbands family (which is pretty small) doesn't know. I'm going to look into the IVF one.
Your family sounds like one great family. My MIL had "fertility problems". It turns out after 11 years of tests and seeing every doctor imaginable, they realized that the problem was with my FIL.
[...] On my personal blog I recently wrote about the precise fertility treatments which lead to our two biological kids — the details of which I had never shared online before. In fact, we hadn't even told our kids until very recently. [...]
I hear ya on this one. Two years later and I still can't write about my infertility- at least not in any way that is satisfying. What I did was start donating a portion of my sales to RESOLVE:The National Infertility Association. You can't ever explain to any one what it really feels like to go through IF- but I read your post and I just know.
Congrats on your family!
Everyone has things in their personal lives that they found super difficult to go through and super difficult to reconcile even when things work out in the end. I also went through 7 years of fertility evaluations/tests/procedures, including IVF and ICSI, but now have 3 wonderful kids. For me, the infertility part of the story is not forgotten, but rather never thought of! What does revisit my thoughts was my apparent inability to give birth without having nearly every known complication. Sometimes I meet women who just, you know, drop a 9 lb baby without 60 hours of labor and crowbars and I just feel a twinge of jealousy. I know its silly. It doesn't matter if we got our kids via a roll in the hay or from someplace half a world away, and it doesn't matter if they came out of our bodies or not, and surely it doesn't matter if we were "good" at childbirth. It only matters if we are good at being moms!
Damn. That's fascinating and somewhat appalling. (Appalling in that donor sperm hadn't been suggested earlier.)
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My life in California with my husband Craig and our sons Henry (6.5), Ed (6), and Charlie (3.75).
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Oh Christina, there's no shame at all. And good for you for deciding to fight for your marriage.
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Amen.
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Perfect! I couldn't have said it better myself.
YAY Simone!!
Sounds heavenly, but I'm left wondering what in the world is a "Teutonic spank?"
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