Allow me to dazzle you with my large and impressive Table of In/Fertility.

Have you ever wondered to yourself how I ended up with 2 kids who are 8 months apart? Well, after several years of spending large amounts of money solely for the privilege of shooting myself in the ass with long needles, we decided to get going with all the paperwork needed for adoption.

That took us several months and the only thing to do at the end of it all was to just sit around and wait. I don't do that very well, so we decided to go back to the doctor for "one more try."

What made it different this time was that we decided to try using donor sperm. The doctors had never suggested it (morons), but it seemed to us to be a very logical and inexpensive thing to try, so we gave it a shot.

See the table over there? It worked the first time, and we were amazed and very cautiously pleased.

Then. The day after we found out I was pregnant we got a call from an adoption agency saying that a baby boy had just been born and did we want to come get him?

So here's what we figured

I had already had 4 miscarriages, and we had also already excitedly traveled out to meet a newborn who we didn't end up getting to adopt. The odds seemed stacked against us, but if we were really, really lucky we might hit the jackpot and end up with two babies.

We ended up in the airport on the way to get Mike AND calling the clinic for my latest beta (pregnancy blood test) results. It was an overwhelming, stressful, and unreal experience, but as you can see it worked out really well for us.

Two years later we decided that we'd love to have a third child and debated adoption vs. donor sperm. In the end, donor sperm won out because it was cheaper, required no travel or paperwork, and had the possibility of happening sooner.

Amazingly, it worked on the first try again. So much for the fleet of reproductive endocrinologists (fertility "experts") who had no idea what was causing our infertility. We just diagnosed it ourselves — go figure.

(Oh, and do you like how this post just kind of stops without an actual ending? Yeah, sweet isn't it? I have a really hard time writing decently on this subject, and any time I try it just kind of comes out like a list. So cut me a little slack on this one please :)

OK, there's finally something to get me to look forward to my kids going to middle school. Snort. (And I reviewed a cute new show for kids — check it out.)

Remember this when you're out and about.

Go give CityMama some love.

Well wonder no more. This is from a picture of myself the week before I decided to take some time off.

The added benefit of the fact that in addition to looking tired I also look psychotic means that I anticipate that I will no longer get questions on this topic after this post goes live…

I am a huge fan of brotherly love. Oh my gosh, this is adorable!

Very worthy use of bandwidth, because "clean it"?? I never would have come up with that. I LOVE this show too!

And if you're looking for the Product Recalls they've moved into my sidebar. Too much freaking lead in the world and I just canNOT keep up.

Last weekend I was looking through Flickr and found this great photo of Jaime's — they made their own crayons! It looked like a simple fun project to do, so we gave it a shot.

Well.

I'm here to tell you that it really isn't as simple as it looks. For example, did you know that some crayons don't melt? Hey, neither did I! So we were looking through the oven door at the crayons and some had melted and some were being a little stubborn.

So I think to myself "Hey self, let's just let it stay in the oven a little longer!" But seriously, self, that was a really stupid move because all that did was make the melted crayons start to boil and thus mix together into really, um, interesting colors. Like "poop" for one.

And I know it isn't just me because Chip, who has a very consistent habit of getting opposites backwards, brought one of the crayons to me the other day and said "Mommy! Lucy peed!"

And let's just say, he didn't mean it looked like dog "pee."

Oh, and for future reference, I am possibly not your go-to person for crafting advice.

(Pardon the dust as I catch up and get back to speed after a glorious week+ off :)

Fantastic news!!! I hope this deal goes through. I can't wait to hear about PunditMom's trip!

Enlightening, but it is just going to make me want to buy more… Snort.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

After a morning of nearly dropping my son off in the wrong kindergarten class and almost handing in an enormous pile of Very Important Forms to Completely the Wrong Person, Mike got to have his first day of kindergarten.

Do you remember how he was on the wait list for our local public school? That really pissed me off all summer, but finally on August 9th we heard that he got in. The next question was who would his teacher be, but I wasn't particularly concerned about that since I didn't know any of the teachers in the first place. It was actually really great to be able to just let that question go!

Last week he got his teacher assignment, but it meant nothing to me except reinforcing the fact that he was really going to be able to start kindergarten at our local school.

But then last week I was waiting in line at the school to turn in yet more forms and ran into some folks who live around here, but who I only know online. And of course, leave it to me to meet them by making a smartass remark to a stranger! That's how I finally met Jill Asher and Pamela Hornik in person. Yes, they are as nice in person as they appear online, and I love it when things work out like that.

They asked which class Mike was going to be in, and when I told them they both said such great things about his new teacher! In fact, anyone who heard who his teacher was going to be just went on and on about how great she was and how she is the teacher everyone hopes their child gets.

And I was relieved. I had been so worried. Mike is a tricky kid and he needs someone who is prepared for that. Someone who isn't going to look at him like he's trouble, but instead will have already met several other kids just like him. Someone who already has relevant strategies in her bag of tricks. Someone just like his new teacher.

What I didn't know what just how much I had been worried about who his teacher would be, because on the way home I just started to cry. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from me and I could finally relax and just let the school year start.

This morning Mike was excited and a little nervous, but he marched through the door and didn't even look back. I predict that he has a great time. He's ready and he deserves it.

Hey folks, I'm still on a break (and it is restorative — I highly recommend it), but I'm just wondering if anyone wants an invite to this new social networking site called Cre8Buzz.

There are already tons of us there in the 'Moms' category, and if you want to join (in any category, not just Moms) just leave a comment on this post. Include your email address in the 'email' section of the comment form and I'll put you on the invite list. (Doesn't that sound like you're going to go to a nightclub??)

That's all I've got today, but I'll be back full-force next week :)

I've decided to take a short vacation from blogging. But even though yesterday's guest post was from someone who has quit blogging, it was not a "hint" — I will be back :)

I just need some time off, and I'll be back in about a week. Mike is starting Kindergarten a week from Tuesday, and he's all done with preschool, so he and I are going to have some adventures together. Without the computer (I know!).

So I'll catch you all on the flip side. Later!

Guest post by Maria P. of This is Me Maria

I woke up yesterday (Saturday) morning and decided I didn't want to blog anymore. It is partially because I am overwhelmed by it. I hate to do anything half assed and I am lacking the energy to go any further.

The other part of it is that I really love writing but I recently realized that I need a subject and focus. When I have that and I am able to just sit and write, it is like meditation for me. It calms me. I try to end my day at work by working on my writing projects to help me unwind. I was wasting time writing stuff that didn't make give me the satisfaction that I am looking for and not allowing me to showcase my best writing.

Instead I am looking for places to write a piece here and there. I'd love to be a guest blogger for whoever… on a lot of different subjects… kids, being a young mother, remodeling, healthy living… whatever.

I am using my new found freedom in many ways. I made organic spelt chocolate chips cookies from scratch, I gave myself acrylic nails, hit up the library and then shopped for a couple hours. I got one of those coupon file folders. Today I will look for some coupons and attempt to work on my front yard (never gardened with nails before…).

First some espresso that I'll make myself and some not so quiet time. I bought stainless steel garbage cans and my kids think they are the coolest thing ever because they have those pedals that open the lid.

I am still an avid blog reader so happy blogging everyone.

Guest post by Maria P. of This is Me Maria