Recalls: Fisher Price baby swings for entrapment hazard, toy drums for LEAD.
The current recipient of my hatred.
“She is ulurgik to dog’s and cat’s.”
Go share your colic tips.
Argh, I get this too and it makes me …

I’m happily reading my feeds and I’m down to about 100 posts left when the puppy jumps on my lap. She scrambles around, gets her paws on my keyboard, and all of a sudden Google …

Today was Crazy Hair Day in Mike’s classroom, and of course Robbie wanted to join in.

I honestly never thought that having been a teenager in the 80s would come in handy as a parent, but …

Going to Blogher? Check in with Izzy. Check my sidebar to see when I’m going.
“The other parents suddenly fixate on their shoes…”
Fuck. I don’t have anything else.
“Somehow, the handyman convinced me that this was my …

I’m tired of writing about my eyes, so you guys must be sick to death of reading about them. So, now for something completely different: vomit.
Yes, that’s right. Robbie woke up and promptly vomited on …

Recall: Similac infant formula for low iron levels (no health hazard).
BABY!
Oh man, the things you think your kids will love that turn out to give them nightmares…
Snort!
Prediction: he‘ll be asking for the car keys by …

Here’s the weirdest symptom I have after the laser eye surgery: no desire to read blogs or to post! Good lord, that should have been noted somewhere in all the papers I signed.
I only hopped …

(Again, writing this with really the use of just the one eyeball, so if this GRIT is sad please blame it on lefty.)
Recalls: MaraNatha Tahini, and exploding grape juice.
Jay needs some recommendations for music to …

(I’m writing this with one eye tied behind my back, so it’ll be short. But oh.so.sweeet.)
Ugh, asshats indeed.
“She sparkled.”
I was going to watch this today but I haven’t gotten a chance to yet. Let me …

Seriously. No joke. The smell of eyeball is foul.
And the Valium they gave me ahead of time? Lame. Nothing. It didn’t “take the edge off,” I’ve just been unable to stop yawning for the past …

I’ve set this post to go up at my eyeball laser appointment time, so as you read this just imagine my right eyeball being bathed in lasery goodness.

But no matter how bizarre the experience turns …

Recalls: Tri-Star Toys for choking hazard, Soldier Bear toys for lead poisoning, and off-road motorcycles for fuel leaks.
“To appease my baby fix I hold other people’s babies when they stop being newborns.”
Go tell Nell some …

For the first time I caught Lucy thecutestdogever mid-squat before she was able to pee on the rug. I grabbed her to take her outside.
I had almost reached the door when I noticed she was …

First the Cockroll, then a pussy haircut. Hmmm… :)
I wore a uniform for 6 years, but what do you think?
“…I am The Boss of the World…” Damn straight.
Wow, that would be incredible.
“Scientists are astounded.” HA!
Ditto. …

Mama Blogga tagged me for the Charity Meme.
The rules are simple, copy the list of charities and links (grab it from whomever tags you) and add your 5 favorite charities or non-profit organizations to the …

Recalls & warnings: Avandia, and Margaret Holmes Seasoned Turnip Greens kaaakkttthhhffffpppppttttt…
Mrs. Flinger had her baby 3 weeks early by emergency c-section — go send your love.
Send Schmutzie your cock. Do it. Now.
“A friend (whose …

I’m pretty sure the guy in this ad studied at Joey’s “Smell the Fart” acting school.

But even if not, I don’t think he’s being “drawn” to that woman as the ad claims. It looks more …

“Sometimes, and quite often lately, I catch myself thinking, It sure is easy not to have another.”
Finding commonality.
Beware the first and the last photographs…
“You are such a shitstain. I can’t even believe you are still …

I’m in bed this morning listening to the boys on the monitor while trying to eke out 5 more minutes of rest when I hear blood-curdling screams (Robbie) followed by frenetic apologies (Mike). Frankly, the …

“Cashier: *silently checks out my items*” People with no sense of humor are so boring. I laughed!
The story behind the ink.
Totly LOL.

The Blogher conference schedule is now online!
Oh. So sad.
Ditto. (Beautiful post. Made me cry.)
Before I had kids I would have thought that this woman was insane. But now I think she should get a Major …

I really liked the Drew Carey show, and the musical episodes were so great. The “What is Hip?” episode was another fave.

Recalls: Samara Brothers boys clothing, Mervyn’s girls pants, Shark cartilage capsules (?), kids books, and Currey & Company lamps.
I only was able to watch half of this before being scarred for life. If that’s acting, …

I let Chip choose dinner a couple of nights ago, and of course he chose chicken nuggets. Fine with me — nuke ‘em and stick ‘em on a plate… that’s damn fine parenting.
But of course, …

Recalls: Lead in Children’s gardening gloves — give me a break. Also, GE Dishwashers are catching on fire. Seems like a problem.
“Hey there, cheap-ass Reverend Bob!”
Fuck no.
May 17th, are you ready?
Learn web development from Shazia!
Thank …

I lay down on the floor to check out the supa-cool lego gear thing Mike had made when I realized how tired I was. After admiring all the features of the new gear project, I …

Recalls: Lead and lead in kid’s jewelry. I am exceedingly tired of reporting this. Also recalled: Marinated Herring from IKEA. (How do I type the sound of a cat coughing up a hairball? Anyone have …

Lucy, thecutestdogever, is going to go to work with me every day. I work in an office and eventually she’ll be able to wander around wherever she likes, but while she’s still a puppy I …

“It’s nice to be gotten.”
Just reading this freaked me out!
I can’t watch this show either.
And visit Thordora. Tell her to come back.