Recalls: Fisher Price baby swings for entrapment hazard, toy drums for LEAD.

The current recipient of my hatred.

"She is ulurgik to dog's and cat's."

Go share your colic tips.

Argh, I get this too and it makes me insane(er).

Oh, made me cry too.

I'm tense just having read this.

The RSS feed of this is the only thing I use Twitter for. I mean, I just can't cheat on my new pal Facebook.

I'm sure I could have answered this question very precisely while we were waiting for a baby, but once Mike came home I too subscribed to the "fold them until they are smaller" school of putting clothes away.

Someone else whose self-esteem was shattered. Someone has to stop these sick bastards!

I'm happily reading my feeds and I'm down to about 100 posts left when the puppy jumps on my lap. She scrambles around, gets her paws on my keyboard, and all of a sudden Google Reader happily pronounces that I have no more unread feeds.

What the hell?

I love Google Reader with a passion, and I'd never be able to do my GRIT posts without it, but this really, really sucks. And you know how most Googly things you do have an 'Undo'? Well not this one. So I'm screwed.

What does this mean for you?

Did you write something I need to read in the last 12 hours or so? Please leave a link to it in this post. I would hate to miss something great, funny, or important, so hook me up.

And I hope some engineer at Google is wondering why s/he is suddenly feeling despised.

Today was Crazy Hair Day in Mike's classroom, and of course Robbie wanted to join in.

I honestly never thought that having been a teenager in the 80s would come in handy as a parent, but I guess all those days of spiking my boyfriends hair was not for naught.

They're just lucky I decided to hold off on the eyeliner.

Going to Blogher? Check in with Izzy. Check my sidebar to see when I'm going.

"The other parents suddenly fixate on their shoes…"

Fuck. I don't have anything else.

"Somehow, the handyman convinced me that this was my fault, although he did offer to drill a few holes in the ceiling free of charge, 'to let the water out.'" Whoa.

Check out Vodkarella — fantastic list! (And I hate lists.) "Unsubscribe is the new black here." Snort.

You're still wrong. Coke Zero (and the heaven that is Cherry Coke Zero) is the best.

Snort II.

OUCH!

Have you been looking for Peg?

Hey Jessica: fucking right on — I love it. Those kids need someone.

Brains can be wonderful. They force you to have thoughts like this so that you are ever-vigilant and don't let the events happen for real.

Brains can be a pain in the ass when they refuse to catch up to you.

I'm tired of writing about my eyes, so you guys must be sick to death of reading about them. So, now for something completely different: vomit.

Yes, that's right. Robbie woke up and promptly vomited on me. Apparently I'm going to have to keep track of how many people and/or dogs vomit on me just this month.

Anyone out there handy with spreadsheets? I have a suspicion that this might get complicated to track…

Oh, and in case you didn't notice, I've been sucked into the black hole known as Facebook. Had you been there today you would have known all about the vomit hours ahead of anyone else.

I cannot think of a better reason for you to sign up. And then friend me. So I'm not so alone. So I don't look like a friendless looooser. Help me!

Recall: Similac infant formula for low iron levels (no health hazard).

BABY!

Oh man, the things you think your kids will love that turn out to give them nightmares…

Snort!

Prediction: he'll be asking for the car keys by June.

Ann's got a new blog!

Are you too broke for Blogher? You're not alone.

More from my new favorite blog.

"I am in awe of the people out there and the hearts they possess…"

Men…

An excellent question.

You know I can't resist pictures of newborns, and this is quite a sweetie.

I think I'm looking into Chip's future.

You are like an onion, dude.

Here's the weirdest symptom I have after the laser eye surgery: no desire to read blogs or to post! Good lord, that should have been noted somewhere in all the papers I signed.

I only hopped online this morning to see if Mrs. Flinger and baby are out of the NICU and home. The answer is yes — fantastic!!! — but I'm putting the laptop away now.

I just want to be in a dark room with my sunglasses on. So I'm still here, I've just become a hermit. Go share Mrs. F's happy day, and I'll be back later.

(Again, writing this with really the use of just the one eyeball, so if this GRIT is sad please blame it on lefty.)

Recalls: MaraNatha Tahini, and exploding grape juice.

Jay needs some recommendations for music to listen to when life sucks. (Hint: skip the Sarah McLachlan…)

I'm thinking that Y could use some of that action as well.

Pamela: you are not a loser.

Some great BlogHer conference tips.

(I'm writing this with one eye tied behind my back, so it'll be short. But oh.so.sweeet.)

Ugh, asshats indeed.

"She sparkled."

I was going to watch this today but I haven't gotten a chance to yet. Let me know how it is!

$30.

Snort.

I want to meet you too!

Seriously. No joke. The smell of eyeball is foul.

And the Valium they gave me ahead of time? Lame. Nothing. It didn't "take the edge off," I've just been unable to stop yawning for the past 5 hours.

And lying in the surgi-recliner waiting for someone who you know is going to blast your eye with a freaking laser? Weird as hell and slightly creepy.

The doctor bringing up "A Clockwork Orange" while he tapes my eye open? Hilarious.

Apparently today I will feel fine (true so far), tomorrow I will feel some "discomfort," and Saturday it will hurt like a motherfucker.

At least I have my lolcats (and friends like Karrie and Jean who send me things like this that make me laugh more than humans really should). And the complimentary goody bag containing, eye drops, sun glasses, and instructions.

Oh, and Valium and Vicodin.