Today is the day for the One Day Blog Silence project where many people are not posting on their blog or commenting on other's blogs. They will instead be thinking about those who were killed on April 16th in that horrible tragedy.

Other bloggers, however, are choosing to blog about the event today, and I have created a place for you to link your posts with others. To participate, all you have to do is enter your name and the URL of your post (not your main site URL) and a link will appear below. (Update: submissions are now closed, but comments are still open. Thanks for joining in.)

Everyone needs to process and recognize this tragedy in their own way. To those of you who choose to write about it today, thank you for joining us.

1. Nell
2. Mom on Coffee
3. Country Mouse
4. Bon
5. Damselfly
6. Jean
7. BadBadIvy@Love Shak, Baby
8. jen
9. Peter

First of all, the idea of boarding preschool crossed my mind yesterday, and that pretty much sums up my Sunday afternoon.

Go do a tap dance or something for Jennifer.

Go see if Archer is feeling any better.

"BUT, HER BOOBS! THEY'RE GONE! HOW CAN SHE BE BREASTFEEDING A BABY LIKE THAT?!" Assvice at its finest.

I just love the title of this post: "What's wrong with your blog?"

And check it, I've got a poll! It is below as well as in the sidebar. If you're reading this in a feed reader, please note that the question refers to the web site. [Update: poll closed after landslide of "Fine" votes. Thanks!]

Our weekends of late have been filled with yard work and more yard work, and we've made good headway so far. We've gotten all of the planting done that we wanted to do this spring and our yard looks like much less of a wasteland.

I survey our work and one thing has become clear to me: I have a new plant obsession, and its name is Leptospermum scoparium (also known as New Zealand Tea Tree, among other names). Mr. Plain and I fell in love with this gorgeous plant while scouring plant nurseries in late winter.

Before we had kids I really enjoyed gardening, but after kids the only thing I had the mental energy to grow was babies. This is the first year where I have given a damn about the plants in our yard, and it is so great to be back!

They come in other colors like white and pink — we have them all — and here's another of my favorites:

But you'll have to excuse me now as I need to get outside and stick the new one in some dirt. I found the perfect ultra-dark brown pot hiding next to the house!

I'm not sure I can link to any more pet food recalls. Pretty much just assume you should be setting a place at the table for Fido until further notice…

Lorelle points out some great great tips for improving your blog.

This kerfuffle is happening on the same email list I mentioned in an earlier post about birthday party expectations. I can't take it anymore — I don't think I will be renewing my subscription…

Must remember not to work this machine unless properly caffeinated and alert! What a mess that would be…

I couldn't agree more. (What's that stuff on infertility boards again? Pixie dust? Fairy dust? Jeebus, between that stuff and every other word being {{{{hugs}}}} I couldn't read them without wanting to toss my cookies. Oh, and why am I remembering the quote "That shit is like Ricin!" coming from someone else who feels the way I do about Baby Dust? Help jog my memory, please!)

And finally, now we know that it's a… well, see for yourself :)

Today I'm starting a weekly feature called "Stick It In Your Queue" to highlight DVDs of TV shows and movies I think you'd like to watch. I use Netflix — and I'll link there for you — but you can find these shows lots of other places. For the most part they won't be movies to watch with your kids. This is just for you when you get a little down-time and want to veg in front of the idiot box.

Oh, and if you've seen the featured show you can rate it by clicking one of the little stars!

Give it to me straight so I know what kind of stuff you guys like. If you hated it, give it . If you loved it, give it . (I'm not sure if you'll be able to vote if you're reading this in a feed reader like Bloglines or Google Reader. Can you give it a try and let me know?)

so let's go!

[ratings]

For this the virginal post, I've chosen one of my favorite mindless movies: 1997's Starship Troopers! For campy, goofball lines like "Come on you apes, you wanna live forever?" this is your movie.

Based on a 1959 story by Robert A. Heinlein, it's your classic good vs. evil flick. You get cheesy alien bug villains, dramatic love stories, and over-the-top futuristic military Rah Rah. At various points the events are punctuated by news bulletins which bear a striking resemblance to the FOX NEWS ALERTs of today. Well, except these are humorous and fictional.

Yes. That was Doogie Howser. Yes. He did say "Here's a tip: aim for the nerve stem and put it down for good."

Great brain-candy for the end of the week when you can't handle one more thing making demands on your intellect. Check out this fantastic bug shoot-em-up and let me know what you think.

Don't like Science Fiction? No problem, come back next week for romance and love for adults with brains :)

Jennifer is out of the hospital and doing well!

What a great story of people who were meant to be together.

And today's cry is courtesy of Andria.

Amalah's smackdown this week is unusual and very moving. Check it out.

I agree — why would you assume you'd be able to bring a baby to an ultra-fancy restaurant?

Essential pictorial if you think bad boys are hawt!

Shazia is having a contest-a-thon, so go check it out and win some loot. Oh, and I'm the judge for one of the contests, so you'll need to be extra nice to me :)

Do you like "Myth Busters"? Do you like "Ask a Ninja"? You're welcome!

"You don’t have to suffer any longer baby. It’s okay. You can fly." What a poignant story. (Hat tip: Tabba.)

And if you want to vote for me that would be supa-cool!

Since I completely forgot to put these in today's GRIT, you get a whole separate post just chock full o' reminders.

Today: It is the last day to enter to win a fabulicious prize pack of unknown dimensions / contents. Leave a comment here today and you're entered — simple!

Tomorrow: Whoo hoo, time to launch my new weekly feature! Hmmm, what will it be? Some of you have tried to weasel it out of me early, but you'll all just have to wait until tomorrow morning at 9am Pacific :)

This Monday: It is the One Day Blog Silence where some people will refrain from posting or commenting to honor those killed at Virginia Tech.

For some, remaining silent and contemplative is the way they want to mark the day. Others have chosen to write about it in that day instead. If you choose post about VT on Monday, please feel free to come here and link your post with others doing the same. I'll have one of those snazzy Mr. Linky thingies (like meme-ers use) and it should be pretty simple for you to do.

May 11th: That's the last day of my writing contest where the prize is FREE tickets for your family to a fun, fabulous Baby Loves Disco party in your city! Check it out. And don't forget that the judge is the fabulous Karrie from One Weird Mother. Don't make her cry, enter the contest and let her judge you. I'm sure she'll be gentle…

Happy Baby Shower to Liz of Mom-101, Christina of A Mommy Story, and Tammie of Soul Gardening!

I've been asked to offer both the worst Assvice and Advice I got before I had kids, so here we go.

Don't do what where??

A coworker whose child is now a teenager was adamant that I never let my child eat in the car. As well as being messy, she felt it created unreasonable expectations on the part of the kids who would then expect to be able to have food in the car whenever they wanted. She felt so strongly about this that she mentioned it to me several times over the course of my pregnancy.

OK, to me that is weird advice, but here's what I learned from it: parenting is personal! To her that was a cornerstone principle, but to me it was silly. But who cares! It worked for her and it was generous of her to share it with me.

Now you're talking

The best advice I got was from another coworker who told me that you should listen to all the advice that everyone gives you when you're pregnant and then do what feels right to you.

Even though it came from someone who raises his kids completely differently than I raise mine, his is advice I can totally get on board with. The most important lesson I've learned so far from being a parent is to have the power of my convictions. They're my kids and I'll raise them the way I want to, but it is sometimes easier said than done when you go against the grain.

Don't want to teach your baby sign language / start them on the violin at 3 months / use flash cards so they can be reading at 6 months? Well if you live in a community of folks who are doing all those things it can be tough to opt out. But if you feel that those aren't the right choices for your family then that's how you need to proceed.

So good luck, ladies, and do what you feel in your heart!

And for the rest of you, stop by their online baby shower to play party games and win prizes! Don't miss the 'guess the pregnant blogger's belly' contest and see if you can guess which one was mine. Hint: it was the night before I had Chip and I'm pretty sure it is the largest belly in the list!

Alert: Jennifer is in the hospital and may need surgery for a kidney stone!

Recalls: Snowmobiles, electric heaters. (They waited until the end of April for these??)

Paige, I'm sorry to say that you've fallen in with some humorless folks.

"This water is too hot! It's burning my footwrists!"

Are you web-talented? Looking for work? Check it.

Creep-y

And I'll end with a gratuitous shot of Robbie and Mike, best friends and brothers.

They were like that for a while just talking and doing a Leapster game together. Of course, after a while it deteriorated into foot fights and then wrestling, and then, well, I sent them outside!

As promised, here's another post about my quest to help Mike build up his self-esteem. My technique is simple to describe: I ambush him with my love.

Do you remember the character "Kato" in the Pink Panther movies? He was the house boy of Inspector Clouseau. (I know, asian "house boy"… It was the 60s.) His job, other than presumably to clean the apartment and make martinis, was to always try to catch the Inspector off-guard and attack him. Ostensibly this was to keep the Inspector in top-form, but it always turned into a hilarious, slapstick fight, and was my favorite part when I was a kid.

Now I think of myself as Kato, and my job is to do sneak-attacks on Mike. Of course I say "I love you" to him, and I'm sure he appreciates it in theory, but to him it probably seems pro forma. You know, like what you're supposed to say. "Of course you love me, you're my mom."

For it to really sink in with him, I have to surprise him and show him in unusual ways. For example, he has the bad habit of biting and picking at his cuticles and the skin around his nails. I would love for him to stop, and I've tried constantly reminding him, covering fingers with bandaids, and yelling. All those work for about 5 minutes each, and then he forgets and goes back to work on his thumbs.

something new

So one day I knelt down next to him, held his hands in mine, and quietly told him how much I love his body and how special his body is to me. I looked at his thumbs and told him that I really loved his thumbs, and it made me sad to see him making them bleed. I looked right into his eyes and asked him if he could do me a favor and take care of those thumbs for me. I kissed both his thumbs, and gave him a hug.

The next day I took him aside and quietly looked at his hands. The skin around his thumbs was getting smoother! I thanked him for taking such good care of his thumbs, and told him that it made me feel so good that the skin was healing. We talked about how much better they looked, and he said they felt better too.

Now I try to make sure to do this about once a day, and I think there are two reasons why this is working. First, he was surprised by it. Who talks about loving thumbs? Second, I did it quietly which was also surprising. You're probably not shocked to learn that I'm not a particularly quiet talker, and changing my voice in this way seemed to get his attention.

So in a nutshell, the Love Ambush. Give it a try.