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Oh, the internet she is a foul mistress. Especially when folks use her to complain about you behind your back.
Sigh, last November we had a birthday party for Robbie at a local gymnastics joint. The party was noon - 1:30 and involved kids playing wild and crazy games, eating cake, and going home exhausted. Parents didn't have to lift a finger, and their kids were in and out in an hour and a half. This is my favorite kind of party to attend. No fuss, no muss, and on with the rest of your day.
You can see I'm going somewhere with this, can't you? I am totally cranky today and it's because I'm on this insane email list for the local mother's club. Full of questions about where to buy the best ski boots for a 2 year old, vacation in Hawaii, hire a second manny, and why housekeepers are just not as high quality as they used to be. But I saw a message go by today that really irked me.
Because it was about me!
Someone had asked for advice about food to serve kids at a birthday party. This party was at the same place we celebrated Robbie's 4th birthday last year, so I read the list of responses she got. They're all anonymous, and now I know why!
Someone complained about what was clearly Robbie's party. I can't say for sure, but all the many details were correct. She was pissed that I didn't provide a full enough lunch for all 20 of the kids.
Read on to see what a bad host I am.
The year before we had a party there for Mike and we brought lots of food. We had coffee from Peets and deli sandwiches from Whole Foods for the adults. For the kids we had PB & J and other simple sandwiches, cut veggies, juice boxes, and water. We also had cake.
Guess what happened?
The adults ate the PB&J while the kids were playing, and the kids only wanted cake. Not one kid ate any other food. We had these sandwiches around FOREVER, and it was such a waste of money.
So for Robbie's party, we got bagels — including lots of plain and cinnamon raisin ones for the kids — cream cheese, lox and coffee. Kids who were hungry could have a bagel, and then we'd serve cake at the end of the party.
This woman had the GALL to complain. I'll paraphrase her email:
I am a whiny douchebag.
Hmmm, that doesn't really get the details across, does it…
I went to a party there with my kids during the same time slot and was surprised when no lunch was served. The parents of the birthday boy offered only bagels and coffee to the parents (not really enough for noon, if you ask me), but nothing for the kids. My girls played and then had only cake for lunch! Yuck.
You see she said "my girls"? I know who it is because she asked if she could bring her other daughter. I said "Sure, the more the merrier!" Turns out that daughter needed to play soccer after the party and needed a hearty meal before hand. I suck, don't I? I should have known that! Next time I'll serve steak.
There is, however, an upside. Now I know why she was scowling at me at the end of the party. I am so relieved — until today I thought she found out that I was the one who keyed her car!
i have a deep, abiding fear of my child growing old enough to want one of these birthday party things, as they seem to be nothing but grief. expensive, whiny grief. and i mean on the part of the other parents, not the kids.
perhaps when O is old enough to know it's his birthday, i'll start inviting nice orphans over for cake to celebrate with him.
know any?
if not, perhaps i should send out disclaimers with the invite…"come to my child's bday. we will be eating cake. lower your expectations…but bring a present!"
mmm…that doesn't seem to work either. dash.
Wow. Where we live you never show up to a child's birthday party expecting to eat yourself. It is just assumed that unless otherwise stated the party, and therefore the food, is for the kids. I wouldn't even necessarily assume that just because a party is around lunch time that lunch would be served for the children. Miss Whiny Pants should have thought ahead and stopped by subway or packed a pb&j in my opinion. Don't let it get you down. She is probably a complainer by nature if this bothered her so much.
Oh my gosh, that makes ME mad.
Number one…you probably had to pay per child right? She overstepped by bringing the other child to begin with, she shouldn't have expected her to be fed too.
At all parties I have given or attended, if anything more than snacks is going to be served "lunch provided" is placed on the invitations.
What you did at your party was good. I have had two parties in six weeks and placed lunch provided on the invites and I will still be eating hot dogs for the next three months. No one ate a thing except some handfuls of chips and the cake.
She sounds like an unhappy woman with too much to complain about.
It seems like you can never please everyone. That's why I'm keeping my youngest daughter's parties at home with family as long as I can. We branched out last year to a local pizza parlor (thankfully not Chuck E. Ratt's) for my oldest's 4th birthday shindig.
Let's face it, the kids just want to play and have cake. They don't want no stinkin' food! And she was rude to bring her older daughter along. I'm just sayin'.
I feel you … I threw a big birthday party for my second son when he turned one. Went all out with loads of food. None of which I made myself. I spent a fortune. Then one of the mother's kids, aged 9 or 10, who attended our party at a later playdate informed me that "My mom said the food 'sucked at the party.' The cake was sooo bad. She said you could have at least made some of the stuff yourself." You know what? I knew I didn't like that bitch of a mom all along. She was so high falutin' snooty and was sooo anal about her perfect little parties. I'm bitter too. I don't suppose I'm bitter. I'm certain. Give me a break? I had a one year old, a three year old and was six months pregnant. I should have been allowed to "outsource" my party shit. She was lucky I had a party at all and that she was even invited. Enough ranting for now. As usual, still loving your blog and thanks for your recent comments. All this party bunk is yet more evidence that women are catty, especially women with children (like me)!
Does she have a blog? Because I'd love to read what she has to say after she comes by yours and sees herself in all her glory. LOL!
I'm with Andria on this one: unless it says "lunch provided" I assume junk snacks and cake.
You are never going to please everyone — especially, other moms who seem to love to criticize others. (I would have served the same kind of thing as you, given the experience of the previous party.)
Tacky to talk about you when they KNOW you are also on the list.
That is SO RUDE!
That is SO RUDE! I can't believe the ungratefulness of this woman. And then to be nasty about it in such a public way! And I'm sure she's well aware that you read that mailing list.
What a bee-eye-tee-charlie.
So this woman brings an extra uninvited kid to your party and then has the nerve to complain about you on a message group you belong to? Now that is ballsy.
I feel sorry for her children.
Do you have to invite her next year?
Can I just call her a f*ck face on your blog or is that too rude?
What bitches!! I say get off that list!! Who needs friends like that.
Man, I would LOVE a party with bagels. And so would my kid. What a bitch.
What would we do without asshats?
I'd totally hunt her down and make snarky comments about "some party" you went to where they had the nerve to only serve crap. Imagine! At a KIDS party!
Man some women give the rest of us a BAD name.
How is a bagel with cream cheese and lox not a full meal?? We eat that every Sunday for breakfast.
I am so sick of the entitled bullshit that happens here in the Bay Area. We've gone to such extravagant parties for 3 year olds this year, it is simply insane. And the goody bags, don't even get me started on the goody bags.
You know… what probably confused her was when I kept setting the dogs on any kids who tried to eat a bagel. I mean really, like she says in her note, those were only for the adults. Those kids, always trying to get what they can't have. Fuckers.
In the dictionary, under the word MUFFIA, there is a picture of this woman. WHAT A BITCH.
What are you, a fucking soup kitchen? Why on earth would you go all out for a birthday party when kids don't really ever eat anything, or they turn their noses up at anything but the cake. What a bitch. You didn't have to serve a GD thing.
Douchebag. Please. She's the whiny, spoiled bitch. I'm with you, PJM. She sounds like an asshole.
What kind of dumbass goes to a birthday party expecting someone else to feed their kids one of their main meals? Oh…nevermind… you've already answered that haven't you? A whiny douchebag dumbass obviously!
I'd leave a moldy bagel on the hood of her car with the cream cheese side down just to piss her off.
I am absolutely in shock that adults would expect to eat at a kids' birthday party. How frickin' rude!!
Any parent who brings hungry kids to a birthday party is a dumbass. I don't care if the invitations says, "Hot buffet lunch for everyone" (and wouldn't THAT be a hoot!) — When my kids go to a party, I assume they will be too excited and spazzy to eat anything other than cake and chemical-juice so I feed them first. And I stop at Starbucks first to fortify myself.
Some of my smarter friends have gotten around this stupidity by writing "light snacks" or "come for fun and dessert" on the invitations.
You would think that people realize that most parties- unless stated otherwise in the invitation_ serve just cake and ice cream. It's not your responsibility to make sure her kids have a proper meal. She is a whiny douche bag ;)
I read about the questions on the local mommy club and I know exactly how you feel about very ungrateful women! In the 80's I was director of a large church nursery. During that time there were layoffs at the biggest employer in town, these women who were supposed to be Christians complained about such things as "We are going to have to sell our (3rd)car" "I guess I will have to cut the housekeepers hours back a little" "We probably won't be taking our yearly ski trip" Boo, Hoo, Hoo. Poor Babies! All of those types need to get a real life! Rude! Rude!
I may be naive here, and I only have one child who is almost a year old, but what's the deal with the assumption that the whole damn class needs to be invited to a birthday party? When I was young my mom would tell me that I could invite five or so people and that was it. Then she would put up decorations, serve cake and ice cream, and send everyone home with a minimal but fun goody bag. Is it not ok to do this anymore? I'm afraid my child will have to be sorely disappointed at what a horrible mother I am, because I don't see the need to be much different than what I grew up with.
Well, with a party scheduled at a typical lunchtime, she might have had the right to "wonder" if food would be served. But what the hell is wrong with her just asking about it? I mean sheesh… she had the hairy little balls to bring another kid along as it was; never mind that she asked "permission"… who is going to say "no" to that? She could have at least asked is she was going to need to feed her own freaking kids. Sounds to me like she was hoping for a free meal for everyone.
I so hope she reads this, and I'd give my last-born to see the look on her face if she does.
Sara
You cheap Bitch! First of all - WTF is Peets Coffee and who the hell serves Lox and Bagels at a fucking kids party? What were you and the Mr. smokin? I hope this is one of those things that comes back to bite you 25 years from now when you can't understand why Mike sits in a corner and bangs his head…his fucked up family caused him a lifetime of mental anguish by serving Lox, bagels and coffee brewed from 'peet' moss.
I want invited to the 'scrapping' class when you put these memories in the album!
By the way, I am telling your mother you swear!
What's her number?
Ah..you know I love ya man - but seriously WTF were you people thinking?! LOL!!
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