I have done 0% of my Christmas shopping. I have no plans for how to complete it. I am currently hoping for magical fairies. I'll let you know how that works out.

I was contacted by someone at a video game company the other day who wanted to send me some educational games for adults. I'll let you know how that goes, but it got me thinking about what we're going to do if/when the boys want this stuff.

Mr. Plain and I decided long ago that we weren't going to let our boys have video games. Ever. Or at least for as long as possible.

Now I fully realize that some of you are laughing at me just as I snort heartily when I read about folks expecting their first child. They say they'll never let their kid watch TV and they'll only have wooden toys at home. I suppose that's great if you can keep it up, but I sure wouldn't be able to.

But my boys are 2, 4, and almost 5 — I think at that age they need to be building with legos, running outside, and tormenting their siblings.

I don't want them staring into a screen more than they do now. They watch TV, but they don't use a computer. Hell, I do that all day, and they have their whole lives to be tethered to the flicker. They don't need to start now.

Our plan is to keep the boys busy with sports, or getting into local theater, or writing their own books, or building forts in the back yard, or whatever else it takes to keep them so busy that they don't notice their lack of video games.

On the other hand, I acknowledge that this stuff is an important part of some boys' social lives. What they talk about at school and so on. And if it looks like my kids feel ostracized or left out because they don't know what Super Mario is doing, then we'll look into getting them something for limited use. But crikey mates, I really hope that doesn't happen.

So here's a shout-out to parents of older kids — especially boys. How has this played out in your home? Did you start out like us? How has it worked out for you? I really want to know.

If you do Christmas and advent calendars, consider this your reminder to get ready. I always end up forgetting and starting ours on the 2nd or the 3rd, but this year I actually remembered in time and thought I'd share! Do you do the kind with chocolate? We have a fabric one where you put gifts and decorations on a tree.

Chip has learned many things from his older brothers. He's not even 2 yet and he's working on counting, knows some of the ABCs, and lots of colors (still claims that all animals say "Moo" however, so don't worry I'm not signing him up for some Gifted Program :).

Mike and Robbie's strongest curse word is "dummy" — usage: "Dummy Robbie!" and "Dummy Mike!" followed by the other party's tears. Very effective. Of course they get in trouble for saying it, but I also understand that they need something as their 'nuclear option' and 'dummy' it is. Could be much worse.

For about 6 months Chip has said "Go Way Mommy!!" when I tell him no or otherwise piss him off. No, it isn't embarrassing when he does it in public. Um. I just understand that it is another handy skill he's learned from his brothers. Part of the price you pay with 3 kids less than 3 years apart.

Of course you see where this is all going. Chip has gone nuclear. And in a way that even his brothers never have dared. A couple of days ago this is what he said to me:

Dummy Mommy!

And a child will lead them. Into a time out.

Thanks to Blogging Baby and Her Bad Mother I now know what I would look like if I lived in South Park (and got as much sleep as I did last night).

Go try it yourself — very fun!

Yummy.

I can neither bring home the bacon nor fry it up in a pan. I am unable to keep track of:

• which of the 3 boys classrooms I have contributed to the teacher gift for
• which of the 3 boys classrooms needs me to bring in a canned good for Friendship Soup day (and possibly that already has happened in which case I missed it)
• which of the 3 boys classrooms needs me to bring in a canned good for a canned good drive
• which of the 3 boys classrooms is having a holiday party, and when it is, and what potluck dish I need to bring
• CHIP'S SECOND BIRTHDAY IS SUNDAY. And OK, he's not going to care one way or another, but I really have nothing planned. And his brothers will notice. Sigh.

I think I'm just going to write off all this stuff for a while — well the school stuff at least. I can barely keep my head above water as it is! They're just lucky I remember to pick up the kids every day.

Whenever I run into a Room Parent, I just kind of tilt my head down, keep walking, and say "good morning!" over my shoulder. So much guilt! ;) But how do people do this? How do you handle this?

Go check out sweatpants mom's beautiful tribute to almost-102 year old Grandma Helen. She sounds like a really great woman and sweatpants mom's post really makes me wish I had known her.

This year for Christmas I'm getting a great present. And I know I'll like it because I chose it myself. I'm going to stop letting the same old family bullshit get me hurt and resentful.

I end up having the same argument with the same family member every year. I come away furious and frustrated, and they come away sad and confused.

I'm going to stop wishing they would remember we do this every year. I'm going to stop wishing they would just get over it.

I'm going to remember that they're grieving over our family being broken in some ways. Ways that will never be repaired. I'm going to remember that this happens because they love me.

I will do this if it kills me, because I have to move on. Even if they can't.

When I picked the boys up from school today Mike had a 'light saver.' It was a rolled-up and taped piece of butcher paper. I got a complete description of the ins and outs of light savers on the way home, and this from a child who has never seen Star Wars.

But of course Robbie wanted one, so I rolled up and taped a section of newspaper. Then Mike wanted to see whose stick was longer.

Really. I'm not kidding.

It turned out that the one I had made was larger, so of course I had to make another one from newspaper for Mike. Then they spent the next few minutes measuring their sticks. THANK GOD THEY WERE THE SAME SIZE!

Mr. Plain and I were eyeballing each other across the room and trying not to rupture something internal to keep from laughing. I almost burst a blood vessel in my eyeball.

Christ people, THEY'RE ONLY FOUR!!! This parenting boys thing is getting more interesting by the second.